Finding my “why”: Motivation in a nutshell
There is more than one way to skin a cat. Meaning one can use different methods to achieve the same goal. The how is very important, but the “why” we do things is even more important. It can mean the difference between success and failure. This has been on my mind for some time. In fact, it is becoming my latest obsession, well amongst my other obsessions. To find the “why” let’s first look at what motivation is, followed by barriers to motivation, next will come motivation and discipline. Finally, my personal path to finding my “why”.
What is Motivation?
Simply put motivation is the push to do things. It is both long term and short term. This is important because many times we start something but then not have the push to complete it. This has always been one of my major issues. Another important factor about motivation is that it can be both intrinsic and extrinsic sources. Your boss pushing you to get a deadline done that is external, but when you learn how to play a musical instrument because you enjoy it, is internal. Finding and using external motivation is usually easier than finding internal motivation. In my experience most times I have the initial motivation to do something, but the staying power is not always there. (insert stamina joke here)
Barriers to Motivation
Achievement and motivation go hand in hand. As such their barriers are quite similar. The barriers that have been the hardest for me to navigate are; time, perceived availability of opportunities, uncertainty about self. My go-to excuse for procrastination is that I do not have the time to start, continue or finish whatever task I am busy with. This is often times a lie. I tell myself I don’t have the time or that I am too busy because to be honest with myself I am not passionate about the task. This also comes with prioritization and knowing the difference between being productive and busy work. Uncertainty is the next barrier. When I don’t know what I want, it is difficult to initiate and complete tasks, because I do not know why the task is important. This especially true of repetitive work. Not knowing what opportunities and resources are available for me makes project initiation that much more difficult. How do I tackle such an elephant of a task?.
Motivation and Discipline
Discipline and motivation go together like peaches and cream. Having the initial passion to start an activity is great and it is very important. However, self-discipline and the “will” to continue when things get tough is equally important. No matter how much passion one has for a task, there will be tough times, when going on is not so easy. This is when discipline comes in and it gives us what we need to keep going. I love writing but there are days when I just don’t want to or am too tired because of (insert excuse here). So how do I fight this? I do this by blocking off specific time to write. Come hell or high water, I write at this time. And this works very well. That way when I sit down, I write there is no question of inspiration. It’s not as elegant as writing only when inspiration hits, but it is much more consistent. There is also a lot to be said about having a set space to write in. Will Smith said self-discipline is the definition of self-love. Self-love is not always going to feel good all the time. Self-love is making decisions that are good for you. Going to the gym doesn’t always feel good, but it is very good for you. Being able to push yourself to go to the gym when you must, and loving yourself enough to go is the definition of self-love.
My Personal Motivation Journey
When I was young I didn’t have a direction, as most young people usually are. I took things as they come and I didn’t care where I ended up. That’s how I ended up living in Asia for 10 years. As a young child growing up in the townships of South Africa, I definitely didn’t expect that. But over time I have changed. I am more focused on what I want to do by the time I die. My two biggest fears are to achieve everything I want long before I die, only to end up bored for the rest of my life. On the other side of that coin is the fear of dying before I have achieved everything I want. Those two have been my main driving forces for decades. The problem was still the fact I still didn’t know what I wanted, so I just drifted and tried to keep distracted until I found writing and traveling.
When I started writing I would wait for inspiration to hit. When it hit I would then be motivated and start binge writing. There are few experiences as seductive, sensual and narcotic as writing when inspiration hits. The downside is the months of writer’s block that come after. But I soon realized that is not the way to go if you want to make this writing thing a thing. As a smoker, I couldn’t quit because I kept waiting for some divine intervention to give me indomitable motivation to stop smoking and get off my ass and start moving. As you may imagine that never came and 17 years later I was still smoking. I mean I wanted to quit, I wanted to write more. But I kept waiting for life to begin and excuses abound. I wasn’t willing to make the changes to my lifestyle to make this possible. That is until I made very specific goals accompanied by why I was doing them. That made all the difference.
I realized the only way to start or stop a habit is to start or stop it…period!!!!! Do you want to stop smoking? Then STOP SMOKING!!! Same with all other habits. Knowing what you want and why you are doing it, made the changes permanent. As they were not founded on a passion or discomfort, but rather on a long-lasting desire.
An African proverb goes: How do you eat an elephant? The answer is in small chunks. Whenever it gets too hard I look at what I want, why and the small chunks of how I am going to do.